Monday, December 28, 2009

Midi Monday

The two four-legged bloggers have agreed to let the human post today.

Have you read The Art of Racing in the Rain? I know, it's a dog book and this is supposed to be Midi's post, but the book (or the small part I read) serves as a good intro to today's post.

I'm going to post for Midi today because I feel like I need to share what's going on with her, with me and with Harry. OK, Harry's oblivious - so it's pretty much just me and Midi in this one.

I read the first few paragraphs of the book while waiting to meet someone at Starbucks several months back. It was sitting on the shelf of available reading material, so I picked it up and started to read. I haven't gone to the library or the bookstore to get the book because I'm not sure I could finish it. I teared up immediately, so I'm thinking maybe it's not such a good book for me to read given my delicate emotional state lately.

Basically in the beginning of the book (written in the dog's voice), the dog is dying and has made a plan to get his person to put him down.

The past few weeks I've watched Midi waste away before my eyes. Yes, she's been getting thinner all along (hyperthyroidism), but it's gotten much worse very recently. She has gone from eating two to three cans of Fancy Feast each day to maybe eating one. She also sleeps. A lot. I can tell when she does get up that she's become weak although she can still jump onto chairs to get to her food.

When I hold her (which is often), I can feel her heart beating very fast. She's become much more affectionate lately - but that's what she does in the winter. It's all about body heat :-)

She is still Midi though. She's alert. She doesn't seem to be in pain. She IS eating. Just not as much. I do not know what to do. I don't want to do anything while she is still alert and seems OK. But I don't want her to suffer either. I am a coward about this as I've never had to go through this before. With my parents and "our" pets, sure. But not just me. I would rather her heart just give out and let her go peacefully than for me to have to make a conscious decision.

I feel our time together is short and I want to be the best Mom I can be during the time we have left.

Thanks for listening and I promise to post a silly Harry blog soon.

14 comments:

Pearl said...

Sweet Heather,

I am so sorry that Midi's health is deteriorating. Like you, I have never had to make that hard decision on behalf of one of my pets. I always hear people say, though, that when it is time... they 'know'.

I know she will let you know when it is too hard for her to be here anymore, if it does in fact come to that. I sincerely hope it does not.

My thoughts and love to you! You are a WONDERFUL Mom to your babies and every animal should be so lucky to have a human who cares so much for their happiness and comfort.

xoxo
Pearl & Momma

Stubby said...

Hi Heather! Mom read that book and cried her eyes out. She told me that it was such a great book because Enzo speaks and thinks like I do. I recommend reading it once your emotional state is not so emotional.

Mom hasn't ever had to deal with the end of life with pets either but she did have to with her dad. She (along with her sister) had to make the decision to take him off life support and watch him die. Although it was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do, she knew it was for the best and that he would soon be at peace.

The bottom line is that when it's time it's time. Like Pearl and her momma said you are the best mom to your babies and when the time comes you will know what to do.

Stubby xoxo

agent99 said...

Aw, Heather....we are watching Fuji very carefully and wondering the same thing. She now declines to take the stairs herself and almost always waits for a two-legger to give her a lift. She does not seem to be in pain, but I wonder what happening.
I've been down this road with 3 beloved pets, and they have taught me that I can read their language very well. One of them required daily fluid injections (renal failure), and when I told her she did not have to continue, she very firmly came to me and sat perfectly still in my lap as I placed an IV into her scruff. Each was very clear about when it was time to step in and help them when the pain became too much. It is heartbreaking, but trust your gut as far a Midi is concerned. You"ll know when it's time.
I will have to find that book!

Much love,
Agent99
Mom to Gen, Foo
and Rainbow Angels Laverne, Shirley & Otis

Yoda and Brutus said...

Heather, so sorry to hear about Midi... I haven't had to deal with a death of a pet since I was a child and then it was more my parents who had to make that hard decision.

All we can do is love them as much as we can while they are here.

Pugs & Kisses

Cindy, Yoda & Brutus

Arlo the Pug said...

Bless your heart. Not many people understand the bond we have with our animals, but you have a whole blog community that understands and will be here to support you, offer prayers, and give advice. We're here for you, whatever happens. Love, Arlo and Arlo's mom.

Stella, Gunther & Betty said...

Heather,

I'm sorry to hear about Midi. I can sympathize with what you're going through. I had a named Memphis several years ago that had medical issues. I did everything for her and kept her around as long as was best for us both of us, but mostly for her. She let me know when the time was right to let her go, as hard as it was for me. I'm confident Midi will do the same for you.

My heart goes out to you. Every fur baby should have a person as wonderful as you.

Hugs,
Shannon

cynthianpugs@yahoo.com said...

Heather, may i share? I had to put my Blue Pug, of 15 yrs down on July 11th, his trachea had started to close down, now he was eating just not as much, walking but just not as long or as far, still wagging his tail, and always sleeping, when i took him to the vet to get a magic potion to get him back to where he was, the vet just let me know, What Quality of Life do you want him to have? let him go with dignity and almost pain free or let him linger in pain.....i made the choice for my boy.

Melissa and Emmitt said...

hi heather
midi and harry are the luckiest fur babies in the world to have you.

i am sending you big hugs. you cannot make a wrong decision because it will be made with the deepest love there is.

xoxoxo
melissa

Rosie said...

Dealing with a sick pet is one of the hardest things. Our cat Ottis is 14 and he has had a lot of health issues too. You will be surprised at how much longer they can live. He is a skinny rail too and won't go in the litter box but I figure as long as he is not in pain then he is OK. We put special towels for him to "go" on and it is working just fine. He likes to eat at night and does sleep a lot - he comes for his evening rubs and rests. You will know when the time has come and they are no longer themselves. Unfortunately, we all get old and it is hard losing a good friend. Just give her extra loves and you will ahve no regrets.

Salinger The Pug said...

Awww...poor Heather!

We agree that you are one of the best moms out there and whatever you decide will be the right decision for both you and sweet Midi!

In the meantime...know that we're sending you lots of (((HUGS))) and love from Indy.

Kisses to both furbabies!

Love,

S-Dog (and Laura)

Libby "The Liberator" said...

Please know that we love you and we are thinking of you, Midi and Harry during this difficult time. Just call and we will drive up.

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Heather,

I just finished the book today. I did the same thing, read the first chapter and said I can't read this...I think of Tuni and how little time I have left with her. But then I read more, and Enzo, the dog is so loving and I would read it, maybe later though, because I finished it crying today and sad.

I have no advice because I have never had a pet till I got Sequoia and now Tuni. I am lost at what to do like you. Just let her know above all else you love her! We all do!!!

Jenn Sequoia and Tuni

Frances Louise said...

We know it can't be easy for you . . . our hearts and thoughts go out to you!

Sandra y Coco said...

Hi Heather
I am sorry you have to go through this now. I would like to share two experiences I've had with our pets. I had an 11-year old cocker spaniel back in Peru who couldn't walk well, was overweight and had serious back problems. The vet was already considering that it was time to let him go but we couldn't do it yet. My sister got pregnant and gave us her puppy basset hound. Three months later, after all the running and playing with the puppy, our cocker spaniel lost weight and recovered from all the ailments and lived happily for 5 more years. He then had renal failure and was hospitalized for a day. The vet then called because there was nothing else to do. We took him home and he laid down, still breathing, for hours until my sister arrived the next morning and he died in her arms as soon as he saw her. He adored her and I am sure that even thought he was suffering, he died happy to see her one last time.
Now, Coco was so sick during his first year than when the eyes incident happened, I found myself lost as to what to do with him. I suddenly felt that I was the one trying really hard but he was the one suffering all along. I was the one asking the vet if putting him to sleep was the best option for him, not because I had given up but because I wanted to make things fair for him too. They said NO. He had and will have a lot of health problems in the future but he will be fine NOW. It has been 3 years already since that day.
When pets age, they have problems walking or eating just like old people does. But that doesn't mean that they are not happy. I learned how pain affects a pet regardless of age - that's why I decided to remove Coco's last eye. You will find ways to improve Midi's live along the way, and you will also find out when there's nothing else to do. Then you will do what is right.
Hugs
Sandra