Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Joys of Having a (Male) Pug

Harry's extremely overprotective, paranoid, and possibly pervy Mom here. Don't anyone tell Harry about this post. He would be extremely embarrassed if he knew I told you this.

Some of you have heard all the gory details, and some of you are still scratching your heads wondering what all of my worrying and Laura's laughing on facebook yesterday was all about.

It started out innocent enough. Harry was out on the back deck with me, the roommate and LuLu. I'm a little over-indulgent at times with Harry, so I allow him to get on the patio table as long as nobody is eating. He loves it up there as it allows for primo butt scratching by anyone at the table.

While he was up there I noticed he had the tip of his "lipstick" out. I realize this is normal for most dogs, but it's not for Harry. He's a keep the lipstick in its case kinda dog. So, as I looked a little more closely I noticed there was something on it - it looked like extra skin, or a growth or something that just wasn't right. Upon even further inspection, I noticed a piece of grass or some other equally foreign object was stuck between his lipstick and its protective case. Avert your eyes and scroll down quickly to avoid the pug porn.

(Yes I took a picture with my phone in case anyone needed to see it to help with the diagnosis).

I was kindof freaking out, telling the mean roommate to take a look and let me know what he thought. Of course he wouldn't. (men!) So, I took Harry inside and booted up the laptop and started googling all kinds of things that nobody should ever google.

I also emailed a few male-pug owning friends and put out an SOS bulletin on Facebook. The advice and opinions started pouring in and I was reassured that what had happened was very normal for male dogs. The icky growth turned out to be dried gunk (discharge, smegma, whatever). I cleaned his man parts off with a tissue and everything returned to its normal position.

Today things are back to normal and I will leave you with this adorable picture of my very prim and proper pugs (taken before our house turned into pervy central).


Rosie said...

Hmmmm I will never put on lipstick the same way again.

Salinger The Pug said...

This will NEVER stop being funny!!!!!!!


Don't worry Harry....Auntie Laura won't tell anyone! (BAAAHAHAHAHAA!)


Debbie said...

Our lips are sealed....lord, that doesn't sound right at this point.

agent99 said...

BAHaHaHAaaaa. Moms! Is THAT all? I thought it was a re-do of the time our friend's lab had "active" man parts for ......hours. Had to take him to the vet to have it, well, fixed. I have no idea how, but I don't really want to.
Harry, we wear we won't tell a soul. (Sal's mom's on the job!)

Hope mom is feelin' better....

Gen & the Foo

Lilo, The Great Rock Eater said...

Poor Harry!! Trust me, Heather, I feel your pain!! Lilo is to short to clean herself so the task falls to me! Because she is practically on the ground when she potties, I have to catch her on a pretty regular basis. It's so much fun!!! =) stuff for dogs said...

Oh Harry,

Your Mom has left you little dignity between this post and facebook. And she googled pug porn? Imagine if anyone ever checks the history on her laptop? Hahahaha, that would be good payback, no? :)

j/k Harry's Mom. I know you meant well and it's unfortunate that Harry gave you such a scare. My Mother 'encourages' me to take a shower or warm bath when I get bits of grass or such stuck in places where I shouldn't.

For Harry's sake though, I hope you kept all this a secret from Lulu...Little sisters should never have such embarrassing leverage on their big brothers.

Take care, Harry.


Arlo The Pug said...

Poor Heather! the joys of owning a male pug never cease! lol. I Hope that the rest of the week goes a little better! Love, Arlo's mom Penni

P.S.- We'll never tell!

Pearl said...

I shielded my eyes from the picture so as not to embarrass my Harry. But Momma hasn't stopped giggling!

Glad everything seems to be... normal!?


Wilma said...

Hi Pervy Mom,
Don't worry, secret safe here. Mom laughed like heck when she read what you call Harrys privates. Mom and Dad call Sluggo's his lipstick tube. Soundslike things are under control, but Mom said the vet just taught her how to "inspect thhat area" on Sluggo. Something about peeling back the cover. Um, ew. Anyway, she said if you'd like some instructions, just to make sure there's no more smegma hiding(my god, Mom is beside herself with laughter now) in there, she'd be happy to provide more details. Mom was laughing, remembering the time in nursing school when she learned during a slide show, that smegma is actually a medical term. Look, I don't get it, but clearly there is something entertaining going on here. Either way, I'm just glad Harrys nether regions are back in order.

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Don't feel bad I inspect the girls all the time to make sure everything is healthy looking and no lumps on there tummys.

Those Elgin Pugs said...

You are a concerned Momma!!

I am forever checking on those sorts of things too!
My dear sweet Anakin has been embarrassing me lately with his lipstick too. Since his surgery - I'm not sure whats gotten into the boy.
Hee hee...I like the ~ put the lipstick back in the case~ comment!
These poor puggies...who knows what they are thinking of us crazy hoomans!!
Glad that Harry is O.K. and his lipstick is O.K. too! :@)

~Pugga Momma

George the nasty in Vegas said...

oh so cute...and only a Pug owner would be this neurotic....

Dana Orsborn said...

Sexy man pugs are so mysterious.
You never know what their man
bits will do next hehe.
I am glad it all
turned out Ok.

I hope you have a great weekend!


Tweedles -- that's me said...

Oh my gosh
I am glad I never get inspected that closly

Apollo said...

LMAO!!! I am so totally picturing you doing that too, Heather! And "lipstick" is hysterical!

All kidding aside, you're a great Mom! If something were wrong, you would've caught it early - so being very observant is a good trait. Apollo loves sticking his out, big and proud, so I can easily keep an eye on it. Haha!

~ Jami

Fred said...

I can't even imagine!!! BOL!!!

Kitty+Coco said...

Oh My!!!!!!!
Mom made us put our paws over our eyes. She says this is exactly why we don't have a brother. She can't handle the pug pinkerton! Glad yours is, um, going back to its home.
Sighs (Kitty), and Snorts (Coco)